Competition is human nature. Competition makes us move forward, push harder, pass our limits. Competition can occur between co-workers for a raise or a new position, between sibling for the parents’ attention or the last piece of pie on the plate, between friends sometimes to validate a status. Competition happens between people for things as various as money, fame, recognition or affection.
Competition forces people to look at the other and evaluate the differences, the strengths, and the weaknesses, to position themselves in a context, presenting the best side, the strongest face, the calmest mood.
If there is a secret to winning a competition, it’s confidence, without being over-confident. It’s making a statement of strength and detachment. It’s being involved without being emotional. And it’s belief. And sometime we doubt, we loose confidence; we’re scared. But we keep on hoping, we believe. And sometimes it just happens. We win.
I was just a twenty-something, barely out of school when I was put in front of another twenty-something, during an internship, in the race for a job. She was prettier than me, she was more social, and she was not an idiot either. Plus she was a really nice girl and we even became sort of friends… I was scared but I kept on working. Hoping that I would get out of that internship at least a good learning experience. But I was sure she would be the chosen one. I was defeated before even fighting. But I was hoping. I loved my job; I was enthusiastic and hard working. I was passionate about what I was doing. In the end, they chose me. This experience taught me to believe in myself. Doubt is still here, more than often, but deep inside, I have the strength and I know I can win, if I really want.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Just one look
It's common to hear that eyes are the mirror of the soul. More than just a reflexion of our deep thoughts (which can often lead to many interpretations), eyes initiate the relationship, eyes set the tone, eyes shut.
There are many ways of laying eyes on somebody. And by this small action initiate a chain of reactions. As an experience, just walk down the street and pick a random person, make a short eye contact. 9 times out of 10 this person will either say hello, nod, or look away and pretend they didn't see you. Whatever the outcome is, you just initiated a relationship.
Many silent communications can be made through the eyes, trying shamelessly to send or read thoughts and, when the connection with the person is deep enough, succeeding.
Being stuck in an undesired conversation in a bar and sending a desperate S.O.S to a friend on the other side of the room, with just one look: "Save me." Listening to the non-sense of an unreliable C.E.O, barely able to contain the disdain and lack of respect that start coming out of every pore of the skin, and receiving from across the conference-room table a silent message from a manager, with just one look: "Don't go there." Hearing a new word in a conversation and not being able to make any sense of it and communicating, with just one look: "You lost me in translation."
Silent communications can be longer. Loosing yourself in someone's eyes, pushing the limits of intimacy, when something needs to come out but there are no words to say it. Being at loss with words is often either the result of deep emotions or fear of hurting: "I can't say that to you, so I'm looking at you and hoping you understand." The risk is, in this situation, that 9 times out of 10 the person will misinterpret the look and use it to validate his/her own fears, hopes and emotions.
It was early on a Sunday morning; he jumped out of bed, mumbling something about work to do and people to meet. He got dressed, gave me a peck on the lips and walked out the door. I saw him leave, turn around, and look at me. I knew. I never saw him again. He broke my heart, with just one look.
There are many ways of laying eyes on somebody. And by this small action initiate a chain of reactions. As an experience, just walk down the street and pick a random person, make a short eye contact. 9 times out of 10 this person will either say hello, nod, or look away and pretend they didn't see you. Whatever the outcome is, you just initiated a relationship.
Many silent communications can be made through the eyes, trying shamelessly to send or read thoughts and, when the connection with the person is deep enough, succeeding.
Being stuck in an undesired conversation in a bar and sending a desperate S.O.S to a friend on the other side of the room, with just one look: "Save me." Listening to the non-sense of an unreliable C.E.O, barely able to contain the disdain and lack of respect that start coming out of every pore of the skin, and receiving from across the conference-room table a silent message from a manager, with just one look: "Don't go there." Hearing a new word in a conversation and not being able to make any sense of it and communicating, with just one look: "You lost me in translation."
Silent communications can be longer. Loosing yourself in someone's eyes, pushing the limits of intimacy, when something needs to come out but there are no words to say it. Being at loss with words is often either the result of deep emotions or fear of hurting: "I can't say that to you, so I'm looking at you and hoping you understand." The risk is, in this situation, that 9 times out of 10 the person will misinterpret the look and use it to validate his/her own fears, hopes and emotions.
It was early on a Sunday morning; he jumped out of bed, mumbling something about work to do and people to meet. He got dressed, gave me a peck on the lips and walked out the door. I saw him leave, turn around, and look at me. I knew. I never saw him again. He broke my heart, with just one look.
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